"No thinking for a little while, let's not try to figure out everything it wants ... It’s hard to keep track of you falling through the sky ... We’re half-awake in a fake empire"
If you have been given the opportunity of happiness the one thing that will surely make you refuse is a question of your own self-worth ...
Am I worthy of this happiness? ...
Some days it's no question at all ...
Other days the question will plague my mind ...
The days my feelings of being undeserved weigh down my thoughts, darken my day, making my own worst enemy I head down a path of self-destructive behaviour in an attempt to shake even just a fraction of the weight I bear heavy upon myself ...
Doubt ... It always works it way in ... And once that seed of unsurety has been planted it is difficult to ignore it's presence ...
Now here, again, it's with me ... Hovering over me like a cloud ... Cloudy ... Stormy ... Overcast ... Sun rays break through the clouds on occasion, but disappear when I accustom to their presence and warmth ...
Constantly I slip in and out of this coma of uncertainty ...
Security and assuredness impermanent ...
Wide awake ... Half awake ... Asleep ...
Who knows how each day will steer ...
Utterly unpredictable ...
Posts
-
No comments:
Post a Comment