Scar Tissue

"with birds i'll share this lonely view ..."

No matter how hard you may try to forget your self-inflicted *misfortunes* there always seems to be a constant reminder staring you in the face everyday ...

Maybe you are starting to move on past a dark time in your life, but just around the corner there will be a man in a chicken suit with a sign around his neck, neon and flashing, written the words "Remember the time ..." ...

A person can be haunted by the past for what seems an eternity ... the memories can be prompted from something as subtle as a smell or sound ... a product in the supermarket ... or can be as intruding as speaking to someone you may have shared another side with ... a tattoo ... a scar ...

Running, hiding, an escape route ... all these become obvious options ... if you leave, you leave all that behind right? ... with this belief in mind you may be able to fool yourself in the short term, sure ... a quick fix to your little problem ...

Eventually, sooner or later, the truth will hit you like a bolt of lightening ... you learn your ghosts know no boundaries ... suburbs, cities, states ... oceans and mountains ... all you have worked to put between yourself and these memories now made redundant ... the false reality you have eluded to falls apart ...

Change of scenery *check* ... change of friends *check* ... your delivery of excess baggage *check* ... Oh, the vicious cycle of it all ...

You wallow in self pity and go so far down, the only way left to go is up ...

When you finally stop running you start to take a look around ... you force yourself to accept your surroundings ... whether you're comfortable with them or not you know that you have to learn to adapt ...

Co-existing with your ghosts ... learning to accept your indiscretions so as to grow past your *regret* ...

And here you are ... at the foot of the mountain ...

Forced back to basics ... your skills are infant ... past attempts highlight the fact your inner *database* of survival skills is in need of a major update ...

The inevitable journey to cross this mountain of pain is daunting ... accepting this *fate* you take the first step ... there are no shortcuts ... no turning back ... no 1-ups ... no *get out of jail free* cards ...

A journey like this can take a lifetime ... but the glimmer of hope resides in knowing that you can only go one way ... you will only go one way ...

No matter how small your steps ... no matter how many breaks you take ...

You push ahead ... move forward ... walk on ...

Mostly scared and unsure of what lies in front of you ...

Somewhat empowered in knowing you have to *just keep walking* ...