Everyday is Exactly the Same

"I think I used to have a voice, now I never make a sound"

noise - noun, verb, noised, nois·ing –noun
1. sound, esp. of a loud, harsh, or confused kind: deafening noises.
2. a sound of any kind: to hear a noise at the door.
3. loud shouting, outcry, or clamor.
4. a nonharmonious or discordant group of sounds.
5. an electric disturbance in a communications system that interferes with or prevents reception of a signal or of information, as the buzz on a telephone or snow on a television screen.
6. Informal. extraneous, irrelevant, or meaningless facts, information, statistics, etc.: The noise in the report obscured its useful information.
7. Obsolete. rumor or gossip, esp. slander.
–verb (used with object)
8. to spread, as a report or rumor; disseminate (usually fol. by about or abroad): A new scandal is being noised about.
–verb (used without object)
9. to talk much or publicly.
10. to make a noise, outcry, or clamor.
—Idiom
11. make noises, Informal. to speak vaguely; hint: He is making noises to the press about running for public office.

Music is in my life ... Music is my life ... I couldn't live without it ...

Music is in my life everyday ... It has nursed me through sad times ... Empowered me through difficult times ... Fought beside me in moments of rage ... Warmed me when happy ... Enlightened me when confused ... Inspired me when unmotivated ... The louder, the better ...

I can remember when music first became an integral part of who I am ... The Beatles "red" album, cassette of course, is what began my passion ... It belonged to my father ... I would listen to it over and over on his stereo, knowing every word, every beat, every harmony ...

I can also remember why it became an integral part of who I am ... an escape ... an alternate reality ... a comfort ... music became my security blanket ...

A safe haven from my Mother's physical abuse; that is when she was there on those rare occasions before her leaving me without so much as a note ...

A safe haven from my Father's verbal abuse; that is when he was ever home and/or showing me some form of acknowledgment ...

A safe haven, a warm and familiar embrace of sound, when everything went quiet after my Grandmother died ...

Music rescues me when desperate for escape ...

Noise is still around me ... in every shape or form ...

The yelling, the fighting ... It's still happening, to this very day ... Volume control not an option ...

I shut my door ...

My music is on ...

Volume control now an option here ... I increase the decibels until the noise from outside is drowned and I am surrounded, again, by music ...