Down or Down

"Go and help yourself today. I think you're so damn insecure, you're either down or down..."

Manufactured highs come in any form these days. In the form of food, shopping, drugs (prescribed or otherwise) ...

Feeling down? Have a Prozac ... Feeling anxious? Have a Xanax ... Feeling tense? Have a Valium ... Can't sleep? Have a Mogadon ...

Since the age of 12 manufactured highs have been detrimental to the most basic functionality of my everyday life ... The solution in pill form? Does it exist? ... Sure, why not ... But upon receipt of your prescribed "band-aid" they fail to read the disclaimer *this product works best when combined with learning life skills* ... who wouldn't go for a quick fix? When you are depressed you can't even leave your couch ... If popping a green pill everyday means you can make it work you'll take that little green pill no questions asked ... This gives you the false sense that you can now function as per "normal" ... but when you are faced with a crisis, put under pressure, or put in a situation that requires a little more than "auto-pilot" the weight on your shoulders becomes twice as heavy and the significance of the burden is magnified to a degree in which the ability to face it evolves into a daunting task of epic proportions ...

That being said the little green pill, that band-aid that you put your trust in to hold you together gradually peels away more and more each day only to expose the fresh wound that lies beneath ...

When the wound heels, and if it does? ... It's like a puzzle i'm trying to finish by working around having so many pieces missing ...

But for now ...

I know I put those band-aids somewhere ...